Letter from 6/25/2012

I am going to be a DAD!!!! So transfer calls came...... I am training again.. I dont know his name, I dont know where he is from.. all I know is that he was called to speak english and does not know that he is going to be learning dutch... I am nervous... But excited. And I know that our Heavenly Father will bless us along the way!! I will tell you more next week. Because he is a mystery man!!! I cannot believe that Ryan is back already. IT BLOWS my mind...I am scared actually.. My time is just around the corner... This week was good. I did actually wear the new ties with pride... And I am so thankful for them!! I needed them!!! Things have been tough this week. Koewarasan is a grumpy old gal... All of our investigators have fallen through, we had the lowest sacrament attendance is weeks, and there is nothing really going for us right now.... We are fighting and fighting, but things do not seem to progress... The mission is hard. It is disappointing,challenging and exhausting. I have never been more tired. And I am only 1 year out... I have never wanted to quit more in my life. But never have I had a bigger fire for greatness. I have never felt so alone and abandoned. Yet never so embraced and loved by my HEAVENLY Father. I have been struggling everyday to understand the scriptures, to remember the references, and to better my pondering abilties. I have been fighting to become a better teacher, and to recognize the promptings of the spirit. I struggle everyday. But I feel the Love of my Father in Heaven everyday. I grow in faith and in testimony. And everyday my assurity that He lives grows a little brighter. I am so excited for the coming challenge. I know it will try me, test me, and try my faith. But I know I will grow towards being the missionary and young man that my Father in Heaven wants me to be!!