Monday, March 19, 2012

Letter from 3/12/2012

Hoe gaat het met u? Another week has come and gone. And I am tired. Elder C and i have been working hard. Our mission President invited us to not be content with not baptizing... To not allow ourselves to be content with 99% and, I have really been trying to give it my all. We taught almost 40 lessons this week. But it had such a disappointing end. So investigators have to come to church for 3 weeks to be baptized and of the 7 people that told me they were going to come only 1 did. It broke my heart. I was really set on baptizing this transfer. But now given the circumstances, I wont be able to. Every one of those 7 dates has to be pushed back a week. I know of the power of this gospel. And when people don't want to listen, when they don't keep commitments, it really breaks my heart. It is something I have never felt before. I don't want to be turned away. Not for my sake, but for the sake of those that our passing by on the most wonderful blessings that are only available in this church. And it makes me so sad. My very basic desires have changed. I don't want to be the same person I was when i left. I don't want to do the same things. And I am so thankful for the changes I have seen in this gospel on my mission. And I am so thankful. I can never give my Heavenly Father what He has given me. I have been having a tough time with Elder C. He only talks about video games, movies and comic strips. And I am trying to let all of that go. I have decided to sell all of my video game stuff when I get home and pick up reading. I just want to live a full and exciting life. And I am done spending it playing as someone else. I have really had a stretching week. I am learning so much, and growing so much. But it has been hard. I have never done anything more difficult than I have these past 5 weeks. And I don't know if I ever will. It has been a struggle and sometimes I want to lock my self in a dark room and just sit there. But through diligence and patience i have been able to see the miracles in my daily activities.

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